DADDS Date a dream dating service
by CutePoison
Summary: Ch 2 is up A spoof on dating services with Mike and other as clients
1. Chapter 1

D.A.A.D.S Tape #69 Client: Michael Scofield  
(Office use only) 000978686-02-14-07

Date a dream dating service: Take 1

Michael: "Am I on"?

Female voice behind camera: "You're on Mr. Scofield. Any time your ready to start feel free"

Michael: "Thanks Jessie". (Smiles at camera and clears throat) "Hi, I don't usually do this kind of thing..I mean use a dating service". (Clears throat again) "But it's been a while since I've been on a date. I guess it's kinda hard to hook up with someone decent when you're an ex-con". (Laughs softly, nervously) "By the way I'm Michael, and if you choose me…well it definitely won't be boring"…(As he continues to speak he begins to tap on his leg in Morse code …. … … .. . … …. … ..Smiles hotly into camera and starts talking about his interests as he continues to tap in Morse code all of the hot things he would like to do to the lucky girl fluent in the Morse code language of love … .. … … .. . … …. .. .. ….. .. ). "So, my hobbies? Well I have a few I guess. I like Sudoku puzzles…fine wine…dancing…staring into your eyes intensely…looking into your soul". (Camera pans in close capturing his face and you can hear an audible sigh from the camera woman) "So pick me and you definitely won't be disappointed". (Camera angle changes to scan his body from head to toe as the camera woman checks him out…and then there is a crash and the camera angle is askew as it falls to the floor, to record a pair of black pumps running towards Michael, followed by wild animal noises as she tears his clothes off…grunting and moaning can be heard and the sound of heavy breathing. And then silence followed by Michael's deep satisfied voice: "So you know Morse code, then"?

Should I do a Linc tape?


	2. Chapter 2

D.A.A.D.S Tape #311 (Police code for indecent exposure;)

Client: Lincoln Burrows

(Office use only) 68475869487-02-15-07

(Voice in back ground: Mr. Burrows? I'm getting a glare off your chest, could you please button up your shirt?)

Linc: "Yep…I mean nope, I can't. It's one of my best features". (Unbuttons shirt a little more.) "The ladies love my chest"! (Winks at camera) "Is that thing on"?

(Voice: Yes, it's on…but hold on…Mary!!!...Mary get in here with the powder, 'Fabio' here is glaring"!)

Linc: "Fabio? Who you callin' Fabio? Hey I thought the camera tech was a chick… Jessie, I think? I've heard good things about her"!

(Voice: "Today the camera tech is a dude, and what exactly did you hear about my wife"?)

Linc: "Ahhh..nothin'…just she knows how to handle a…a camera". (Smiles into camera)

(Mary rushes in and starts nervously powdering his chest. She is ooohhing and ahhhing.)

Linc: "Can I start now"? (Shoos the annoying powder girl away)

(Voice: Yes, please start…)

Linc: "Okay, well, my brother told me about this place, he said it was a really great experience for him. And well it's been a while since I got any, so I figured why not? I mean not that I just want to hop into bed with someone, 'cause that ain't me at all". (Eyes shift up and to the left) "I mean I would really like to get to know someone and connect on a deeper level than just hardcore sex". (Again eyes shift up and to the left). I have a bit of a rep as a ladies man, but that's all rumor… (Eyes shift up and to the left) "I mean yeah, I have had my share of women, but its greatly exaggerated; especially by my bro. Hey Mike! (Waves)

(Voice: Mr. Burrows, do you really think your brother will see this tape"?)

Linc:"You never know, I mean my bro has been in prison, right? So he might see it". (Smiles again) "So, my hobbies are tanning and romance. I always get the lady in my life roses at least once a week" (Eyes shift up and to the left again….in fact as he continues to speak his eyes are moving so much he looks like he is having a fit of ticks like someone with a severe case of Tourette's syndrome)

(Voice: "Are you okay Mr. Burrows ? Are you having some kind of attack"?

Linc: "Huh? What do you mean am I having an attack"? (Looks at camera dumbfounded). "Oh, and ladies? I never lie" (Smiles as eyes shift up and to the left.)

(Voice: I think that will be enough for the tape, Mr. Burrows")

Linc:"You sure? I was gonna tell some prison stories".

(Voice: I'm quite sure")

(Linc stands up to go)

LInc: "Oh, I almost forgot, my bro said to tell your wife hello".

(Voice: "What?...What?…..Mr. Burrows wait! What do you mean by that? ….Mr. Burrows"!!!! Runs to catch up with Linc).

Tape goes to static...


End file.
